Honoring Expansive Visibility: A Journey of Self-Discovery As a Trans* Man
By Lu Lukah Orona
March 29th, 2024
In recent years, the visibility within the transgender community has blossomed into a vibrant tapestry of diversity and inclusivity. It’s a beautiful spectrum where identities flourish, transcending conventional boundaries and challenging societal norms. For many, myself included, this visibility has been more than just a recognition—it’s been a catalyst for profound self-discovery, empowerment, and self-love. During a month of natural growth and blossoming into Spring, amidst my fourth medical transition anniversary on March 22nd and Transgender Day of Visibility, I want to share my own personal journey to self-discovery, self-acceptance, and self-love as a transgender person of color.
In the early stages of my transition, I grappled with self-acceptance and the immense pressure from society to conform to the gender binary. As a transgender individual, there were expectations to prove my masculinity and validate my identity within the narrow confines of social norms and the gender binary. Unfortunately, being transgender often meant having to constantly justify my identity, walking a tightrope between authenticity and acceptance. To fit into a cisnormative society, I felt compelled to adhere strictly to traditional expressions of masculinity, avoiding anything that might challenge the label of a “trans man”. Experimentation with gender expression felt off-limits, as any deviation from the prescribed narrative risked invalidating my identity. In a world where the burden of proof falls disproportionately on transgender individuals, navigating self-expression becomes a delicate balancing act, fraught with societal scrutiny and judgment.
Amidst the isolation brought by the COVID-19 pandemic, I found myself confined within the walls of my home, away from the external pressures to conform to society’s rigid gender expectations. It was during this period of introspection that I delved deeper into my own identity as a genderfluid, transgender person of color. I began to explore a version of myself that felt so free within my gender identity. For too long, I had felt compelled to prove my transness and validate my masculinity within the confines of a binary framework. However, with time and solitude, I began to shed those limiting notions and explore the facets of my identity that I had long suppressed. As I continued to navigate the nuances and expansiveness of gender identity, I learned how to love and accept myself unconditionally.
Alongside my self-discovery through isolation from the cisnormative world, the increasing visibility of diverse transgender identities, particularly those outside the binary, played a pivotal role in my journey. It provided me with a sense of belonging, encouragement, and empowerment to authentically embrace myself within my home and outside of it. As I witnessed others fearlessly express their true selves, I felt inspired to break free from the confines of the binary box that had kept me restrained for so long. Each new person that I witnessed explore and proudly express their identity within the transgender community served as a reminder of the beauty of authenticity. It was a beacon of hope amidst a world that often seeks to erase and suppress non-conforming identities and continuously attempts to invalidate trans* folx.
The expansive and inclusive visibility within the transgender community is not just a reflection of our diversity; it’s a celebration of our resilience and courage to defy societal expectations. It’s a reminder to embrace our authentic selves unapologetically, even in the face of adversity.
Let us amplify the voices of those who have been marginalized and celebrate the richness of our diverse experiences. Together, we can create a world where everyone is free to live authentically, without fear or judgment.